He's
had the chest pains for weeks,
but the doctors don't make house
calls to the North Pole,
he's
let his Blue Cross lapse,
blood tests make him faint
hospital gown always flap.
open,
waiting rooms upset
his stomach, and it's only
indigestion anyway, he things,
until,
feeding the reindeer,
he feels as if a monster fist
has grabbed his heart and won't
stop
squeezing. He can't
breathe, and the beautiful white
world he loves goes black,
and
he drops on his jelly belly
in the snow and Mrs. Claus
tears out of the toy factory
wailing,
and the elves wring
their little hands, and Rudolph's
nose blinks like a sad ambulance
light,
and in a tract house
in Houston, Texas, I'm 8,
telling my mom that stupid
kids
at school say Santa's a big
fake, and she sits with me
on our purple-flowered couch,
and
takes my hand, tears
in her throat, the terrible
news rising in her eyes.